


purple-blue-pink

by aloeverava



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, First Kiss, Fluff to Angst, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Iwaizumi Hajime is Bad at Feelings, M/M, Non-Canon Timeskip, but so is oikawa, iwaoi - Freeform, iwaoi angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-15
Updated: 2020-07-15
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:54:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25273501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aloeverava/pseuds/aloeverava
Summary: Tooru wishes they had grown old together.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 37
Collections: ☆彡 ask box fics





	purple-blue-pink

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: "Do you remember when we were young? I want you to remember me like that."

“Do you remember when we were young? I want you to remember me like that.”

The sun is setting and the world is sleeping behind Tooru’s words. He sits in the overgrown grass with his knees bent, arms wrapped around them. It prickles and itches at the bare skin of his lower thighs, but he doesn’t mind it for once.

(He does mind it, he just can’t find it in himself to get up.)

He tilts his head back, closing his eyes and listening to the wind carry his words. A breeze ruffles his hair, which has needed a trim for some time; it falls over his eyes in a bothersome way.

“What’s that supposed to mean? You getting philosophical on me or some shit?”

Tooru smiles, Hajime’s voice finally making its way to his ears. It completes the picture—sitting in the front lawn of Hajime’s childhood home, lounging in the grass and watching the sun set. Cheesy, but complete.

“Nah,” Tooru replies. “Just saying.”

Hajime scoffs. “You say what you want to say when you want to say it, Shittykawa. Don’t give me that bullshit.”

“Do I?” He opens one eye, tilting his head to look at the boy. His scrunched up expression is bathed in the tangerine wash of the sunset, accentuating the deep tan of his skin and making his eyes glint in the light.

Rather than answering his question, Hajime’s face only relaxes, then contorts once more, but this time into a smile.

“What’re you looking at?” His tone is annoyed, but his grin gives away any semblance of genuine annoyance.

“You.”

* * *

_“What’re you looking at?” Tooru quirks his head to the side, looking at his best friend, who sits in the grass beside him._

_Hajime’s eyes widen, as if caught, for a moment, then he looks away, making a “tch” noise._

_“Nothing,” he mutters._

_“Nooo,” Tooru sings, smiling as he leans in to put his face mere centimeters away from Hajime’s. Much to Tooru’s satisfaction and Hajime’s chagrin, Hajime flushes a deep red, the scarlet hue accentuated by the glow of the setting sun._

_“What were you looking at, Ha-ji-me?” He sounds out every syllable of his first name, leaning impossibly closer with each one. Finally, the other can’t take it anymore—he shoves Tooru’s shoulder, just seconds away from imploding._

_Tooru only laughs, long and loud._

_“You’re so cute, Hajime,” he sighs._

_“D-Don’t just say stuff like that, Shitty—” And there he is, right up in his face again._

_“Say what?” His breath smells like the gum he just took from Hajime (the kind that he kept buying, just for him) and those eyes are so damn mesmerizing up close._

_Hajime scowls deeper, eyes flicking down to the other’s lips. “Ugh, shut the fuck up.” He grabs Tooru’s collar, fisting the fabric as if holding on for dear life._

Screw it, _he thinks._

_He pulls._

_Tooru’s eyes widen as he isn’t thrown by the collar across the yard—instead, he finds himself knocked off balance, one hand going immediately to Hajime’s hip for support as his face collides with the other’s._

_Hajime’s eyes are squeezed shut, as if he’s concentrating hard. Tooru smiles into the kiss, letting his eyes slip shut as well._

_There is a stretch of eternity between the moment that their lips meet and Hajime’s body finally relaxes. Neither of them remembers that in between, but they do know how they ended up afterwards—Tooru’s legs straddling his waist, a pair of hands cupping those hips and the other two lost in the nape of Hajime’s neck, curling into the beginnings of his hair._

_The moment is over too soon; they pull away, looking at each other with wide eyes._

_Surprisingly, Tooru is not the first to recover._

_“I was looking at you, dumbass,” Hajime says._

_One breath._

_Two._

_They both break into laughter on Hajime’s front lawn, the sky now faded to purple-blue-pink._

_Two boys, lost in each other, hands embracing every crevice of one another._

* * *

“Is that how you want me to remember you?” Hajime asks. His lips are quirked on either side in a slight smile, reminiscing on the moment, just as Tooru had been.

Or at least, Tooru likes to think so.

He turns his head, joints creaking in protest. His hair has been in need of a haircut for some time; the strands curtain over his eyes. It’s fine, though, because his hair has been thinning for some time, as well. It’s also been ashen gray for some time, as well.

Tooru does not push his bangs back, because there is nothing to see anyways. Because Hajime has been gone for some time, as well.

There is just overgrown grass and the ghost of a boy he once loved.

The sky has faded to purple-blue-pink.

One boy—no, man, now—lost in the memories of another boy, hands grasping at the few memories he holds with him.

Tooru smiles, a tear slipping from his eye. As bittersweet as it is, he would relish this moment. Hajime’s voice laughs in his ear.

“I said you’d be chasing volleyball until you were an old geezer, and I was right.”

Tooru’s smile slips.

“That’s how you wanted me to remember you, right? As a hot shot volleyball player in your full glory, captain of Aoba Johsai High School.” He can hear the humorous tone in Hajime’s glance. It was the one saved for boosting Tooru’s morale in the middle of games, the one used for reassuring him that he was the best. Best setter. Best partner. Best friend.

And only that—best friend.

Ah, right. Tooru sighs. Because that was all he ever was to Hajime.

* * *

_“Hajime!” Tooru comes bounding up to the boy the next day, smile blindingly bright and eyes sparkling._

_“...Oikawa. Hi.” Too caught up in his own excitement, Tooru takes Hajime’s hand in his own._

_“Ready to go to school? I am! Actually, no. But I’m excited to walk with you! Our first walk to school together as boyfr—”_

_“Oikawa-kun.” Hajime’s eyes are downcast, frozen on the image of his fingers intertwined in Tooru’s. His gaze is caught somewhere between discomfort and disgust._

_“Hajime? What’s wrong?”_

_“I…”_

_Tooru releases his grip on the other’s digits, but only so that he can cup Hajime’s face in both his hands. There is the subtle hint of stubble there, the roughness only noticeable if you rubbed your hand over it. Tooru does just that, stroking his thumbs across the boy’s cheeks soothingly._

_Hajime seems to cringe._

_“Hey, you can tell me anything. You know that, right?”_

_“It was a mistake!” Hajime blurts out._

_Tooru slowly lowers his hands from Hajime’s chin. “...What do you mean?”_

_“Yesterday was a mistake.”_

_“Hajime, what do you—”_

_“You can stick to Iwa-chan, okay? It’s not—I—I’m not gay.”_

_Tooru’s hands, warm from the other’s face just seconds ago, go cold._

_“Oh.”_

_“Let’s just forget it happened, yeah?” Hajime turns, walking ahead. He doesn’t wait up for Tooru._

_For the days after, they walk to school together, but Tooru always stays just a few paces behind Hajime. Because that was always what they would be—just far enough to never touch, but close enough to call each other… friends._

* * *

“I was foolish to think that you would love me back,” Tooru muses to himself.

Hajime does not reply.

“Gone already, huh?”

The sky is dark purple now, an inky backdrop for the stars that twinkle back at him. Laying in the grass, weeds on either side of his head and surrounding the rest of his body, it’s as if he is in an endless expanse, a void where there is just this lawn full of bittersweet memories and a sky that laughs at him.

“I know you’re only in my head, Hajime,” he sighs, rolling over. His old body protests, especially his knee, but he props his chin up onto his elbows nonetheless, looking at the spot where Hajime’s younger body was just moments ago.

“But you could’ve stayed a little longer.”

**Author's Note:**

> whoops. i wrote angst again. n e wayz,,
> 
> comments and kudos are always appreciated! :)
> 
> twitter: glutenfreeroach  
> tumblr: hairbleachwhore  
> ko-fi: aloeverava


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